On Friday, January 28, the cast of the sexy-drama movie Silip Sa Apoy gave their two cents regarding the quote “You deserve what you tolerate,” and they all concluded that it is inapplicable to love.
Paolo Gumabao considered it a “crazy saying” as he pointed out that whenever a person tolerates something out of love, they become vulnerable to abuse.
“Kasi parang, you know, sometimes you tolerate stuff out of love, and no one deserves to be abused because of love,” he said during the film’s virtual media conference.
Angeli Khang, the movie star, argued that tolerance in relationships only means that a person was “hoping for a change.” However, she explained that there are instances wherein it is not for a good cause.
“If you’re tolerating, you don’t deserve what you’re tolerating. Kasi sometimes it’s not about tolerating in a good way but also tolerating in a bad way dahil gusto mo nang pagbabago.”
Jela Cuenca added that it is another form of abuse if the mistakes continue happening repeatedly.
“I disagree din kasi tolerate ano siya eh, kapag paulit-ulit mong gagawin, you yourself hindi ka na matututo, and at the same time parang maa-abuse na yung sarili mo.”
On the other hand, Sid Lucero stressed that tolerance and abuse go hand-in-hand if a person chooses to stay in an abusive relationship. He emphasized that people have choices, and if there are signs that it is time to leave a relationship, one should find a way out.
“It’s kinda messed up but I think yeah, I think it’s true. Because you are only tolerating it while you were there! You have every power and every reason, well not for everybody, but there’s always an exit nga eh, there’s always a way out,” the actor explained.
Lucero added, “If you’re just tolerating, you’re not just doing anything, you’re just letting it irritate you. So if you’re going through something you shouldn’t be going through, don’t let it happen to you. And if it’s not happening, then you’re not tolerating anything.”
Silip Sa Apoy is about a battered housewife who fuels the fire by falling passionately in love with her neighbor.
In the movie, Khang’s character Emma always allowed Ben (Lucero) to abuse her in sex, and the cast members also explained that communication is important in relationships.
“People are having a hard time communicating. Communication is, ‘I don’t wanna have sex today, I’m tired,’ ‘I’m not feeling confident today,’ or you’re just not in the mood. It’s how you deliver yung gusto mong sabihin na ‘no.’ Communication lang,” stressed Gumabao.
Khang also added that a person should “know their worth.”
“Tell them the truth. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love that person anymore, it’s just that you want your space. Dapat hindi maging issue sa relationship when you have something you don’t want to do. Kasi if that person respects you, and that person really loves you, that person [will] understand kahit hindi ka na magsalita.”
Cuenca stressed that communication also involves how the word “no” is being delivered. She stressed that it is critical to say it in a “nice way.”
“For sure naman maiintindihan ‘yon. At kung hindi niya maintindihan iyon eh problema na niya ‘yon.”
Lucero pointed out that a simple “no” could mean a lot of things, and it is taken depending on the amount of respect that a couple has for each other; it also hinges on the situation.
“There have been nos that turned into yes, and there’s also ‘no no no.’ But at the end of the day, the moment any one of you feels like the respect does sort of parang tinatamaan yung respect mo, then that’s red flag na agad ‘yon. But in any other case, it is really situational, right?”
Catch Silip Sa Apoy now available for streaming on Vivamax
