- Bela Padilla recently spoke about her own mental heath issues.
- When she was in FPJ’s Ang Probinsyano, Bela really thought that she was the role she was playing.
- During the week that she was going to shoot her death scene, Bela was starting to succumb to paranoia and really thought she was going to die.
Bela Padilla recently revealed how she suffered and overcame depression. This became one of her testimonies for the second series of Boy R. Abunda Talks (BRAT), a project under the TV host-talent manager’s Make Your Nanay Proud Foundation. Bela was one of the five speakers who shared their own personal stories on mental health.
Aside from Bela, the other four speakers were Miss International 2016 Kylie Verzosa, fellow actress Jasmine Curtis Smith, NGO advocate Quennie Maravillas and a student named Nykko Bautista.
Speaking about mental health
Bela explained that every person has a baggage which probably includes religion, social media, peer pressure and family. These baggage sometimes become the circle that life draws around us every day. She continued that she believed that limits only exist in the mind. She, however, can be strong one day and end up crying the next.
“Lahat tayo ‘yun, ang dami nating dala. How do we get out of that circle that life draw around us every day? I’m surprised that we can even function and I really believe on that line… that limits only exist on the mind. I believe that our mind is so strong that one day I can be here speaking in front of you about mental health. But tomorrow I can be crying, depressed or something…”
Bela shared what she believed to be the purpose behind this project.
“Masarap sa pakiramdam na na-i-share ko ang aking story. Kasi I feel there’s a purpose why we did this project and reach out to people. And tell them that it’s okay to talk about mental health issue and that you shouldn’t be afraid to say na pagod ako… na kailangan ko ng tulong.”
According to Bela, she felt relieved sharing her own story about mental health.
“Sa totoo lang po, ako ngayon sa buhay ko, masaya naman po ako. So, I just recounted what I went through, yun ang mga pinagdaanan ko. Siyempre, when you go back to them, you remember the pain, you remember what it felt like. Kaya siguro the five speakers are emotional also, it’s remembering what you went through in life. And ‘yun nga, that’s what we are trying to prevent, hopefully, when people go through this, when they are emotional, they have somebody there to talk to. Kaya kami nag-speak up, kaya kami nagkuwento nina Jasmine, nina Queenie, Nykko and Kylie is for people to relate and say if they are going through that, ‘I’m not alone.'”
Becoming Carmen
Bela shared that sometimes she mistakes her roles as extensions of her own realities. She used to be romantically involved with Neil Arce and was a part of FPJ’s Ang Probinsyano as Carmen.
“It’s funny a few years ago, in 2015, I was part of a TV show called Ang Probinsyano and there was one taping day where I finally realized that my husband died. I was with the wrong Coco Martin and the whole day that we were shooting, puro ako iyak nang iyak. Parang pagod na pagod na, and on my way home, my boyfriend then, my ex-boyfriend now, meron siyang ritual na he calls me when I’m in the car on my way home na, kapag pack-up na. And he said, ‘O, kumusta ang taping mo today,’ ganyan-ganyan. I guess he noticed that my voice was a bit sad. So, he asked me what’s my problem was… ‘Babe, puwede ba? Bukas na tayo mag-usap. Namatay yung asawa ko, eh.'”
Bela, then realized that she said something wrong. Although she can laugh at it now, she really thought her husband died back then. She noted how nobody knew she was starting to become Carmen.
“Tapos na-realize ko, teka lang, parang mali yung sinabi ko? Kasi boyfriend ko yun, e, ‘tapos sinabi ko namatay ang asawa ko. So nag-sorry ako, and that’s something I can laugh about now. But that day, I really believed that my husband died. And so many things happened to my character. So, through all of that, nobody knew I was going through one of the experiences of Carmen.”
Bela added that the week she was going to shoot her death scene for FPJ’s Ang Probinsyano, she became obsessed with her own death. She really thought that she was going to die and was starting to succumb to paranoia.
“And uh, on the week that I was gonna get shot, I had ‘rakets’ in between taping days. And nobody knew this, but every flight I took, kung may raket ako sa Cebu, yung cellphone ko nakalagay sa Ziplock kasi I was very sure this plane was going to crash. I knew I was gonna die. And, every day, every time I would ask my driver to take me to set, I was sure we were gonna hit something or something would go wrong and I was gonna die.
“It was a week of, ‘Shit, I’m gonna die. What I’m gonna do about it?’ And I could not tell anyone because… it was crazy. I was not actually raped, it was my character. I wasn’t taken hostage. I don’t have a kid. I wasn’t actually shot, but I had to feel it. And I suffered so much personally. And I still do with every role that I accept. And I notice the way I feel it is also through my work.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR0sFcVAaho
